The great thing about bad times is that, in good time, they'll be over.

It's only fair that if you're going to call someone out on something they've done, be prepared to extend the invitation to yourself and the others around you who have shaped that person into who they ultimately became.  If we're going to point fingers and place blame, it's only fair that you grab a mirror yourself.  I think you'd agree that had someone you love been attacked, you would have reacted the way I did as well.  No one's perfect, I know this, but why do you feel it's your job to continually remind people of things they now have no power to change?  What keeps you so connected to your misery?  I'm no longer upset over your words.  I'm letting them go with the hope that before the end of your days, you can once and for all find peace within your heart and forgive those who you feel have hurt you.

Bad things happen to remind us to appreciate the good stuff when it comes around.  I hear all this noise of hate and mad lip-chatter and it makes me want to shake people and scream life is short, enjoy it now!   Sure, I'm not always in a happy mood.  Sometimes, it takes a lot of work when I've finally reached my limit of patience, but seriously, most of the things we complain about or get worked up over do not add up to zilch when looking at the big picture.  We've got to keep in mind that the show is almost over, and it's past time to put away our cares and enjoy what we've got left.

I'm feeling detached from the negativity.  It's amazing.  My emotional health is wonderful, as well as my mental well-being.  This I am most happy about.  Even though I feel like I don't have enough time to devote to every area of my life because my interests change, I'm finally at peace with it. I don't feel like I have to explain myself day in and day out for my lack of motivation.  It's quite freeing.  I know that those who love me most, accept me just the way I am.  It doesn't feel like I'm in a constant battle to climb mountains anymore.  At last I'm atop, looking out at the world, just enjoying myself.

I love you.  And I want to find a way to put it into words... but also want to say it through actions.  It's weightless knowing no matter what, there is someone waiting for only me.  Someone who would give up everything, even if it meant getting nothing but my love in return.  Life has a way of putting distance between those who adore one another to force them into really appreciating each other.  While I can admit that more times than not, my frustrations deter me from that realization until the threat of my happiness is at stake, I do acknowledge that I have such a love to be grateful for.  Most take it for granted without ever considering a life without it.  And each day, I make a conscious effort to never forget. 

I know this is random but I have to share because saying it just sounds cool!  The Oprah Winfrey Show* called me today while I was on my lunch break. Unfortunately, I didn't answer because I was having lunch in a fancy restaurant with my husband.  Well, that and the fact that since I get called by wrong numbers all of the time, I didn't really pay any attention to it.  Anyway, when I found a minute to check my voice mail, I was told that Rachel from the Oprah Show was calling in response to a question I posed on their website and she'd like me to call back this afternoon.  Because I didn't have Rachel's last name when I called back, I was unable to get connected to her. *big frown*  Oh well. Perhaps she will try to call me again and since I have now stored that number in my phone as Rachel From Oprah, I definitely won't be ignoring it!

This must be what growing feels like.  In the essence of an epiphany, I became stronger the moment I realized I had quit questioning what was wrong with me, and began to wonder what it is that's wrong with those who aren't willing to accept me.

Sometimes the most natural thing that comes to me is loving you.  I don't know what I would do if ever you faded.  Above everything else, I take you for granted most without meaning to.  The farther we are away, the closer I feel.  Why does it take distance for me to appreciate what you mean to me?  The most frustrating part is waking up each day realizing what's happening but continuing on the same path.  I let the little things wedge the biggest gaps.  Why does it feel like nothing can wait?  And I know that all the while, I'm just racking up points to use to my advantage later.  How can I love so much and yet, be so selfish?  I keep thinking that after this happens, then that will happen and I'll change things.  I'm always waiting on something. Always.  I need to focus, and I need your help, but, I don't know exactly what to ask.