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blogging since :: 05/03/2003


Thursday, April 21, 2016

It is in the times where a pattern of grief is on repeat and taking a breath is in short supply.  Each answer leads to another question that doesn't  have an answer.  Is it so hard to believe that someone doesn't require your time; especially when you find that you have had your fi . . . ()

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Thursday, January 14, 2016

The way we affect and are affected by each other is very interesting to me. I find myself in a constant dialogue with peers trying to gain insight into how they perceive something. Sometimes I'm intrigued to know how they are relating to what I'm actively saying.  I can be discussing nothing . . . ()

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Thursday, October 29, 2015

Nothing and then everything.  Should I stand back or step up?  Asking outright did not accomplish anything.  Where you stand, I honestly don't know. Fickle like a fire in the wind. And I really don't know what to make of it all.  The hours are closing in and then this wi . . . ()

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Tuesday, July 28, 2015

I still don't know what to think about the lot of it.  You never reach out anymore, which is a relief because I always felt put on the spot, but at the same time, it's a frustration because it makes me think you still believe I did something that I didn't.  The saddest thing is th . . . ()

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Friday, May 17, 2013

Yesterday would have been my Father's 68th birthday. It is still such a loneliness without him here. In speaking with one of my sisters last weekend, I was told that different items from my Dad's home, that have been in his possession for years, are being sold over the internet or at pawn shops to t . . . ()

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Tuesday, August 07, 2012

i think about what it will be like when their unending need for you has completely drained your every ability.  i wonder who they will turn to next when you've been depleted of every resource. it saddens me that the reality sits but inches from their noses and yet they remain in denial . . . ()

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Thursday, July 26, 2012

the overwhelming sense of detachment.  illusions of being optimistic when reality is denial of the emotion. wanting to scream and cry and laugh all at the same time and yet feeling like there's no gain of resolution. almost like the hole is only getting dredged deeper. the fact of crying at . . . ()

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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

There's this common knowledge that we all have to make our own mistakes to truly learn anything.  I find this such a sad way about life.  If there was someone back then who I trusted enough to talk to, who had a genuine interest in what would be best for me, I wonder if I would ha . . . ()

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Monday, July 16, 2012

The sad part is that they are calling me to see when the party will be and it's already happened. I try to avoid it, but I am always caught in the middle of a situation that is out of my control.  If I do anything I'm asked not to, I lose my chance of seeing her.  Then, I'm put on . . . ()

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Friday, June 29, 2012

there's this unspoken distance between us and it seems like we both feel it. our conversations only drag us through the motions of who we are.  there is so much i want to say to you but my pride keeps me from even attempting to start. and then there's the realization that my words wo . . . ()

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